Ilyka has an absolutely fantastic treatise on what it's like being in the middle between the big political parties. That's the Republicans and Democrats, for those of you playing along at home.

As good as that post is I must guiltily admit that the biggest kick I got out of it was her handling of a jackass commenter.

SHORT'NIN! SHORT'NIN! SHORT'NIN!

Go read, you'll thank me when you're done. Seriously - I expect all of you to come back here and thank me. I'll be quite distraught if you don't.

Posted by: Jim at 09:00 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Bill, who writes about anal intrusion in the funniest manner I've ever experienced, lost his job too. Go and give him some warm fuzzies, would you? He's a great guy and forcible unemployment really blows.

Posted by: Jim at 08:09 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I'm hunting webpages.

(Tip credit to Dopple-G)

Posted by: Jim at 10:32 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Lovely Wife had a mishap t'other day and ended up with the second nastiest bruise I've ever seen in my life. And I was in medicine for 8 years so I've seen a few.

But damn are her legs still sexiful!

Posted by: Jim at 10:55 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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See? When I fail to deliver, Lovely Wife goes postal. I mean, she posts a bunch.

We went to Stone Mountain today and there was genuine hilarity as we left.

Burger's pig bit me in the ass.

Pictures of a real pig.

They're so cute when they're sleeping.

Posted by: Jim at 12:29 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Pixy Misa, beloved founder of Munuviana, has grown a year older today. Okay, so technically he just grew a day older today, he grew a year older over the course of the past year. And if you think about it, so did all of the rest of us. It's just that Pixy has completed the task on the calendar anniversary of his birth so that makes it a special day for him and for all of the rest of us who have done the exact same thing but not on the calendar anniversary of our births - tough beans for us.

Happy Birthday, Pixy!

(In addition to it being his birthday it's also a big day in his computer life as he's about to break the world's record for most Windows re-installs in a single week.)

Posted by: Jim at 08:56 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Jaws in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.

(Hat tip to Dopple-G)

Posted by: Jim at 12:40 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Zlad is why VH-1 is wrong about the 80's.

(Hat tip to Dopple-G)

Posted by: Jim at 12:37 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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They're everywhere! Jen turned 30, Elizabeth's CD got a year older, Harvey is 38. Where will it end? Hopefully nowhere and not for a long time. Happy Birthday, y'all.

Harvey is the only one who asked for presents so here goes. Harvey, you are invited to take The Silicon Challenge. I only got 16 out of 20. I would have done better but I kept getting distracted by something in my eye.

Posted by: Jim at 10:05 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Just very busy. Odd how life got busier when I lost my job. Feh.

Anyway, here are some things that are much better than waiting for a post here:

Still waiting on a Gmail account? Try Omnilect instead. 2 GB of storage there and you don't need somebody to invite you. (Hat tip to Lovely Wife)

Read the second parts of The Great Dismal short story at Quibbles & Bits. The first parts are here.

I've never been a huge baseball fan but I think I am now since I read this post from Corporate Mommy.

He's having a baby! Go say "Hi" to the newest member of Clancy's family.

Happy anniversary to Tiffany and Scott!

Posted by: Jim at 12:05 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Cats have been losing out bigtime to little dogs as the ultimate shopper's accessory. Obviously cats just aren't fashionable enough to be seen browsing designer racks with and I blame two things for this:

1. This carefully constructed argument on why puppies are better than alcoholic kitties

2. Those crazy mixed up felines at Cat Town whose wardrobe has been provided by Catprin.

No wonder there are so many owners out there with cats who hate them.

But sometimes being unstylish is really a blessing in disguise. Cats don't have to suffer the ignominy of being paraded around by the likes of Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Can you see the dead looks in those little dogs' eyes - a part of them has lost the will to live. In this picture, you can see one of them trying their best to escape from the clutches of Nicole Richie.

A media storm was caused recently when Paris Hilton misplaced Tinkerbelle who she said was like a daughter to her. That would make a Great Dane her father, which is no surprise because I've heard that the making of Tinkerbelle is an Easter Egg on the "One Night in Paris" DVD.

Animal activists need to get cracking and bust out all of these little dogs who have been condemned to a life of inane conversation and embarrassing press appearances.

Spirit Fingers

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 11:31 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Ah, finally, an unguarded place where a fellow can stretch out and relax.

Kang A Roo

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 10:41 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Wow, did you ever get someone tryin' to sell ya somethin' whose presence gave ya one of the most enjoyable days you could imagine? I jes' had that happen. I would love to tell ya'll all about it, but why would I be wastin' such a good story on Jim's blog. 'Sides, there ia a graphic I wanted to display as well, and it seems that spongesnoozebob's privileges do not include uploading pics to Jim's server*. You'll have to go to this place.

*Ain't that strange, 'cause it is also my server, or, truth be known, Pixy's server.

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 05:52 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I am blowing steam out of every ear I have, being nine of them, as I lost No. 10 in that scrap with Mike Tyson before my tentacles were fully developed and I had appropriated ray gun technology from Emperor Ming. Why am I upset, if such word is sufficient to describe the ire I feel from having a long diatribe about having had some man named Phil F. Jackson comment upon my blog: Beyond the Black Hole, "Great blog!", disappear without publication after I had worked so diligently to compose such? In this post's previous incarnation, I had painstakenly mentioned that I thought such was a highly suspicious activity and likely done with the intent to cause such Phil F. Jackson's name fall to the bottom of my zap list. If so, said individual is definitely in error, as are any who believe that I will show them favoritism if they compliment me or otherwise show me favor. Except for Gir, of course. Gir is quickly becoming my loyal assistant. Please insure that you do not allow this secret to slip, like was done with regard to the biological agent, cheese and its lethal effect on my health, but also, unbeknownst to many, I do not keep a zap list. My solitary rule in deciding who to zap and who not to zap on any occasion is solely dependent upon who is visible in the cross hairs as I engage the power on whatever ray gun I am firing. Now, if this post disappears without being published as that last one did, I may revise my rule and just rampantly zap everyone in attendance. No ducking, and no cheese allowed.

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 04:12 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I love this blog so much! I've always wanted to be a guest poster but never had the chance before. I knew about the last SnoozeBob opportunity but didn't even think of making my own post. Hindsight, you know?

Well, I don't have anything of my own that's worthy to post but I do have a short list of excellent posts by other noted bloggers for you to read.

Pray for me. Lovely Wife has PMS.

Simon says blog! That's one of the best newbie blogging guidelines you'll run across.

Simon also says that he's sick of the "Simon says" thing.

Rachel Ann discovers advertising deceptions.

Ryan is fed up and he's not going to take it any more! He's issued a call to arms. Sort of.

Bunsen is back? Be still my beating heart - you know he likes to tease.

See ya later!
Jim

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 03:53 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Little-known fact: when I (SnoozeTiffany) was a kid, I thought glasses were cool and prayed every night that I could wear them one day.

Ta da! Fifteen years later, I sit here with two left contact lenses in my eyes because I ripped my right one...twice. And my two eyes are different precriptions. Nice!

I'm not blind to the extent that I qualify for a handicap placard to hang from my rear-view mirror, but my vision is blurry enough that I can't read a digital clock with 1 1/2" red numbers from two or three feet away. I have to squint to read the clock on my cell phone when I take my lenses out.

My glasses are so damned thick that I pay the extra bucks to have them made from extra-light material, and still have that whole bug-face thing going on when I wear them: you know, the part of my face behind my glasses appears much much smaller than the rest of my face because of all that lens goodness. Cartoon, anyone?

The one good thing I can say about having shitty vision is that I can make excuses to beg off things:

"Oh, honey, I can't see to drive at night--can you take me?" (Useful when out of gas and too ashamed to admit it.)

"Fuck! I missed my exit! Why didn't you tell me when to turn--you know I can't see the signs!" (Useful for when you don't know where the hell you're going but like to pretend otherwise.)

"Damnit! I tore a lens, I can't go to work!!!! *snicker*" (Useful when feeling "SnoozeBob"ish.)

And my favorite: I can use the "Honey, I have a headache," excuse and have it work quite well when I'm wearing my glasses--oh, how they strain me. The pain! The fuzziness! *snicker*

Natural selection may eventualy do away with us squinters, but while I'm still here, can you go get me a soda from that store on the corner?...I think it's a store, I can't really tell. I can't see well enough to read the can. (And...I, sort of haven't been paid yet.)

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 01:51 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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A Pome

As we travel through our lives,
We all encounter certain woes;
For happiness is fleeting,
And contentment comes and goes,
And good fortune never lingers -
The tide ebbs after it flows.
But I never dreamed I'd find the dog
That ate my mother's toes.

The day was brisk, the sky was grey,
The trees were filled with crows;
I'd just filled up my fishpond
With the neighbour's garden hose.
I fumbled for a handkerchief
With which to blow my nose -
And then looked up, and saw the dog
That ate my mother's toes.

I looked at him; he looked at me;
He was chewing on a rose.
His eyes were hard, his mouth was set -
Determined, I suppose.
I'd have gone and fetched my shotgun -
But I don't got me one of those.
So I stood my ground and faced the fiend
That ate my mother's toes.

We glared into each other's eyes
The bitterest of foes:
The fellow who just lives his life,
The dog that feeds on does.
And then he got run over -
One reaps just what one sows -
And lay there dying, the vile beast
That ate my mother's toes.

My poetry may sometimes rhyme,
But can't compete with Poe's.
The meter changes over time;
The rhyming comes and goes.
My one last act I will remark,
For none here would oppose:
I kicked him in the ribs and he
Coughed up my mother's toes.

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 12:00 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The first ever Carnival of the Recipes is up at She Who Will Be Obeyed. All I can say is "Yummy".

Posted by: Jim at 10:02 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Many congratulations to Simon and Mrs.M on the birth of their son. Isn't he a cutie?

Posted by: Jim at 07:59 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Dotfart.

I don't think there's anything else to say about it, really.

(Thanks for the link, Helen!)

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